Making a Stand Against Compulsive Behavior

February 15, 2008 |

You failed gladiator school. The military rejected you due to sofa disease. You were never cut out for war. Your jeans still have peace signs, but now you’re in hand-to-hand combat with Mister Big, the Cookie Monster and Ronald McDonald.

Battling with desire hurts, especially, when you say ‘no’ to a pleasure that is moments away. As seconds tick by, you can feel your resolve eroding. The harder you fight, the more you suffer. Previous defeats make the battle even more painful. Emotions escalate, needs are not being met and past pain stirs up other neglected needs. You are moments away from blowing it. Your emotions are clanging like a pinball machine.

This is the place where you win the battle.

Accept the intensity of your feelings. It is okay to feel this way. You can handle it. We feel driven to eat because we feel that we cannot endure the discomfort any longer, so we give in to get relief. But we can endure it, and much more. Try to let go and float through the pain. Find peace within you and hang on to it. Do not fight the desire.

You don’t have to act. Just float through the pain, accept the emotions, and remind yourself of what you really want.

The battle is due to wavering between two decisions. If you were resolute, there would be no conflict. The battle is escalating because you are allowing your mind to rationalize as to why you can indulge. Part of you is uncomfortable because it knows the consequences of wavering in that decision. Goals will be lost. The fleshy part of us is using rationalization to get at the pleasure. The reasoning will be faulty. Challenge your thinking. Most of the time, the rationalization is along the line of I feel hurt and I need this to feel better. Challenge your thinking. Is this the best way to ease the pain? Is this really what you want? Make a decision. If your decision is to indulge then enjoy it, but remind yourself of the consequences of that action. And remember that doing something once is giving yourself permission to do it a thousand times. “Just this once” is a lie.

You do not have to go to a gym to develop discipline. You can flex the mental muscle while doing laundry. Every time you apply mental effort to relax, pray or encourage yourself, you are developing self-discipline. Even doing dishes can develop discipline by keeping your thoughts positive, staying at peace, praying and feeling good about your accomplishments. Not only do you get clean dishes, but also a clean thought life.
Write a list of all the positive things you can say to yourself to encourage yourself to eat healthy and then start thinking nothing but encouraging thoughts. After a while, it will become automatic. You will realize that most of your down times and frustration are due to negative thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you will change how you feel. It is just a matter of doing the work.

Remember that you have spent years as a negative thinker. This is not an overnight project; you need to add about a hundred positive thoughts to compensate for the twenty negative ones. It will take time, but you will see the benefits within hours. You will be more at peace, discipline will increase, and you will feel a sense of accomplishment. Best of all there will be an overall feeling of wellbeing that feels natural. There will be far fewer compulsions and urges, as you become more content. People will greatly enjoy your company because you are at ease with yourself and others. Investing in your brain has the greatest gain.

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