You will never score a goal in a basketball game by wandering aimlessly. Your opponents will easily grab the ball from you. To be a great basketball player, you have to go through a regimen of training. It is not an easy task. There are many obstacles and trials to overcome. But it is your resolve to be successful in basketball.
You cannot overcome compulsive behavior without a plan and being determined to reach that goal. Just like scoring any goal on the basketball court, you have to get pumped up, determined, and focused. Set realistic goals… pace yourself.
Here is a list that will help you overcome compulsion:
Resolve to be stubborn
It is not your opponents that will weaken your resolve to overcome compulsion. You must be determined in the face of temptation. Be resolved to stay focused. Do not allow thoughts to drift into your subconscious, gab your resolve and chase them out, they will weaken your decisions. In the face of temptation, be firm. Be on the alert that you are being tempted, accept it but refuse to give in. Be stubborn, even when friends are tempting you, refuse to eat junk food with that same power of conviction. Give yourself encouragement when you succeed..success is infectious, spread it around.
It’s a stronger conviction to refuse to do something than it is to – try to do something. Which statement is more positive, “I will try to eat better” or “I refuse to eat junk food.” Stubbornly refusing to do something has power. It is absolute refusal that makes decisions resolute.
Resolve to be intent
Being intent is to be fixed on something. Be like an athlete preparing for the challenge. Be fixed on what you intend to achieve. Do not be distracted. Just as an archer aims for his target, he is intent to hit the target. Once he has fired his arrow, he relaxes and gets ready to become intent again. The focus is exhausting. It requires 100% attention. You can be like that. Set the goal and become totally fixed on it everyday, especially just before you eat or face temptation. Once it is over, you can relax till the next target comes up. The mind can be very determind also, and you will often find that you have failed with out being aware until it’s too late…don’t be put-off. This happens to us all. It can give you a boost of resolve to be more vigilant. Look at how it happened, and how you were hood-winked, and see if you can “catch” yourself next time.
Resolve to end mental war
Resolute decisions end mental wars. Weak decisions are useless. There will be times you will compromise and feel like a failure. Make your decisions resolute. If you have made the decision to eat one bowl full of food per meal, resolve to feel hungry before eating. You have made a decision! “I am not getting pushed around any more. I refuse to be controlled by food. Cravings do your worst. I will not budge. I am standing firm. My decision is unchangeable. I will not give in.” These ends the mental war.
Resolve to succeed
You have made a resolve to succeed. Every day you have to go over the reasons as to why you have made these decisions. As soon as you weaken in your decision, the battle starts. Fortify these decisions because you know you will succeed.
Compulsion is a vicious cycle. Pain comes in, emotions stir to a storm: fear, insecurity, anxiety, feeling empty and deprived. These feelings will not exist if your decision is resolute. They come because you are allowing yourself to consider breaking your decision. Even if you do not break, those feelings will have weakened your decision and you will need to rebuild it. If you do not, you will fail.
Out of all the information and research that I have done over the years, this type of thinking has always served me best. I do well with eating and not binging at times, but always end up “giving in”. I have wanted to believe that is was some type of chemical imbalance or food sensitivity that was always “making” me eat when I wanted to badly to stay clean. Although I am completely convinced that I am sugar sensitive, as most people are, I am also mentally weak! It is only when I a fierce with my determination to not snack, not let my negative thoughts get the best of me and to not give into evil temptations, that I get on a track that takes me far. I just need to find that stubborn person inside of me, that keeps me straight and helps me stay clean. We all have that person inside of us. We just need to call upon him/her!
Thanks for sharing Julie,
Sugar creates craving for more sugar that is for sure. And yes negative thinking is weakens all discipline.
thanks for indicating that most of us are sugar sensitigfve — I kinow for myself I go berserk the minute sugar hits my lips and yet I continue to “try to eat just a small amount”. I’m humiliated day after day after day.
I want to be stubborn and stick to my guns but then I feel like I’m being cruel and that God will punish me because I do things “punitively”. When I need to get away from negative people I do it punitively…when I hve to make a point I do it punitively and I’m constantly telling myself I’m no good –I want to be that stubborn person. When I succeeded in losing 310 l bs. I was stubborn and wore “the eye of the tiger..” there was a quiet determination within me….I excused myself at parties and went to my car and ate food that I brought with me….I’d be in a restaurant and would not partake in what others were eating….I stood my ground…I focused on the pot at the end of rainbow and didn’t falter. I cannot get that back again because I hagve to surrender to God which means I can’t be my own person.
Wow 310lbs of weightloss is indeed a great accomplishment.
This is awesome