Compulsive Behavior is Increased by Feelings of Failure and Guilt

Intense feelings of failure and guilt intensify compulsive behavior. To stop compulsive behavior, you need to stop excessive feelings of guilt and failure.

When Edison was criticized for his many failures at making a light bulb, he replied that he had found thousands of ways on how not to make a light bulb. It wasn’t the one success that created the light bulb, but the thousands of failures it took to discover what didn’t work. Every success is achieved by learning from failure.

You will fail. It is part of life. It is inevitable. Are you ready to face failure? Ready to face it not once, but several times? Are you ready to pick yourself up and go on with the battle? Most don’t; they give up when they are at the closest point to success. But everything worthwhile takes time, investment and facing failure. Nothing worth gaining is gained without facing failure. Failure is a doorway. You need to be ready to go through it.
Failure is devastating if you have low self-worth. Parental criticism drove home demeaning messages: “you idiot, you blew it again.” Feeling like a failure, we engage in self-flagellation, beating ourselves up and making endless apologies. We become focused on not failing instead of achieving.

Fear of failure is a terrible motivator. Instead, it will cause failure. When we do fail, it proves to us that we are a failure and we believe it even more. But you are not a failure. Every human makes mistakes. Why should you be any different? Making mistakes proves that you’re not perfect. We learn by our mistakes. They are a part of life.

Guilt Increases Compulsive Behavior

Guilt is anger directed inward, like a shotgun blasting pellets of blame at every part of our character. It screams, “you’re always blowing it.” It reminds you of all your other failures. You beat yourself up because you failed to meet some unrealistic expectation of yourself in a desperate attempt to regain control.

On the other hand, remorse or regret is good. It is good to feel badly about what we have done, see it as wrong, and want to change. Guilt ruins self-worth, but regret leads to change and growth. Guilt reinforces your belief that you are a “bad” person. Regret focuses on the behavior.

Guilt has a powerful effect on our thinking and emotions. When we feel guilty, we become sensitive and defensive. We close off to stop being hurt more. But although we have withdrawn, we have not changed. So guilt is really a cover-up because we never get to the point of feeling bad about what we did and taking responsibility. Guilt allows us to stay the same.

Regret works. Regret a bad choice. See it as a mistake. Become intent never to make that mistake again. You are not a failure because you made a mistake. You have made many good choices in your life. This wasn’t one of them. Feel bad for a few minutes because of the benefits you lost. Grieve the loss quickly, refocus on your goals then move on. Getting enthused about your goals is infinitely more effective than beating yourself up with guilt. The past is the past, but our future is bright in Christ.

Biblical Perspective

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead.
Philippians 3:13

Tag: fear of failure, guilt, low self-worth, self-flagellation, self-worth

If a butterfly could talk of its experience of changing from a crawling insect into a multi-colored, graceful, flying creation, it would most likely be saying the words I felt in my heart. My healing through the 40 days of juice fasting gave back what drugs took away. Thanks for your support Tom. You were a good friend when I needed one.-Carl Wineberg
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At the end of the 17-day fast, a physical problem was gone. My doctor had told me I had a stomach reflex disease and would have to take pills for the rest of my life, but after the fast I no longer had that disease; I was completely healed. Thanks Tom, your books and support was fabulous.-Grace Lang
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I have lost over 30 lbs. to date, and have a new look as well as a new outlook on life. Not only did the fasting help me with my physical self, but my spiritual self will never be the same. The books were a total support and read them several times, especially when detoxing and feeling apathetic. I heard you have a new book coming out. Save my email, I want it.-Debbie Ried
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Ok, I now know just how messed up I am. The chapters on the emotions and eating hit home. I am planning a fast but, I know that I need to rebuild and cleanse my mind of all the toxic thinking and emotions that make me want to hide in the pleasures of food. I feel alive for the first time in many years. Keep on going, Tom you have helped me more than my words can express.-Suzie Bilinere
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Looking at Moreno Tuguinay now, I am amazed. The transformation from a sickly man to a beaming, positively hopeful one, free of all those health problems which have plagued him through the years is simply remarkable – and all achieved without taking any drugs, just juice fasting for a month. For a physician trained in conventional medicine, this is an eye opener.-Dr. Clare Lalwet
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When I started this fast I was taking about 20 pills a day, 4 different prescriptions. Now, after completing a 20 day fast, I am on no prescription medications. I have lost 25 pounds. And I have no swelling in my face, ankles or feet as before.-Steph White
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Claudine Lost 21 lbs. and Healed arm, Spiritual Renewal The result of the fast was amazing... my arm was healed miraculously. What a joy to feel no more pain.-Claudine
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Paul Erwin Lost 12lbs. and Increased Energy My increased vitality was brought home to me one morning after a nearly sleepless night as an on-call chaplain in our local hospital. Normally, I would have been exhausted, but instead I had an energetic and fulfilling day.-Paul Erwin
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Brian Chason Lost 28 lbs. and Increased Enegy and Stamina During the process I learned a few things, some of which I put into practice. Some of the changes that have taken place include clearer sinuses from a reduction in milk; a weight loss of 28 pounds, with eight inches lost from my waist. I really enjoy looking at myself in the mirror now!-Brian Chason
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Elaine Harrison Lost 40 lbs. and Healed Stiffness in the Spine. Specialists had told me that ” full flexibility could not be restored to the spine,” but after five days of fasting I could bend from my waist. Since I broke that fast, I have lived a hygienic-vegetarian diet for the last five years.-Elaine Harrison
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Elizabeth Davidson Healed a Raspy Throat, Drug Addiction, Cancer of the Cervix Remission The fast was ended with a light vegetarian diet. Later I learned she had had cancer of the cervix and tests showed it had gone into remission. Again, fasting had proven its miraculous abilities to cure.-Elizabeth Davidson
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Carl Wineberg Lost 140 lbs and Healed Water retention, Damaged Nerves, Liver and Kidney Damage, Self-esteem. My liver was swollen to the size of a football. I was a 270-lb., burned out drug addict... After 40 days of juice fasting, there was a metamorphosis from a sickly, unstable human into someone vibrant with health and well being. The swelling on my right side from my liver had disappeared completely. I'm off drugs permanently.-Carl Wineberg
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Debbie Ried Healed Water Retention and Lost 30 lbs. I had run out of hope of ever feeling better again. I have lost over 30 lbs. to date, and have a new look as well as a new outlook on life. Not only did the fasting help me with my physical self, but my spiritual self will never be the same. The headaches and the swelling due to water retention disappeared.-Debbie Ried
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Compulsive Behavior is Increased by Feelings of Failure and Guilt

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