Making Healthy Decisions Stops Compulsive Behavior

February 15, 2008 |

Negative decisions are the root of compulsive behavior. Healthy decisions reduce compulsive behavior.

If you were on a diet and you ate a banana split, you made a decision. You thought about it, weighed the good and the bad, then chose to eat ice cream. Your desire for fudge syrup, whipped cream and pineapple topping was stronger than your desire to stay on a diet, so you made a decision.

After the decision, you instantly blasted yourself with “I shouldn’t have done that.” If water flows down a predictable course, why should it flow down another? If you have a pattern of blowing your diet by eating ice cream, that pattern will continue until you change it, so how can you say you should not have eaten the ice cream? Your predictable behavior is to eat ice cream.

If you choose to eat ice cream, enjoy it. Make the best of the decisions you make. It wasn’t the best decision, but you don’t have to be perfect or make perfect decisions. Every decision requires you to weigh the good against the bad; otherwise, it would not be a decision.

Blowing a diet by eating ice cream does not make you a failure. Who said that you shouldn’t fail? Was it your parents? Society? Your peers? How can they expect you to meet a standard that they themselves can’t keep? We all fail as humans; it is a part of life. When you are disciplining yourself, you will fail. And that is acceptable. It is OK to fail.
Guilt and the feeling of failure focus on the loss. We need to be focused on the challenge. No one would be reading this book if it were easy to stay on a diet program. So let’s get realistic. You are not a failure. You made poor choices. Although you may know that, the is inevitable and you need to be ready to face it with courage. feeling of failure

No Good “Should”

Get rid of the word should. Should looks back. There could be a million things that we should have done, but we can’t linger in the past; we are moving on to the future where we make the best of what we have and go on.

Instead of saying I shouldn’t have eaten that, say:

“It would have been healthier if I had not eaten the __________.”

“The best choice was not to eat the __________.”

“The most disciplined choice would have been not to eat the __________.”

“I would have felt better if I had not eaten the __________.”

“Should” statements punish.
Punishment causes resentment.

Positive statements focus on the reward.
Rewards motivate.

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